What You Dont Know That You Dont Know

I know, I know. Some of you probably want to kick my butt. Sorry the posts have been a little all over the place recently. I've been running about like a mad woman in my preparation to America, which is happening ... hmmm like 2moro. But for right now. I'm still here =)

Ok so today's topic is called what you don’t know that you don't know. I love this quote, because its so confusingly profound.

I was reading a wonderful book a couple of nights ago when they said this quote and something dawned on me that I had to share with you.

So what am I talking about exactly?

Well let me explain.

Its kind of the like the saying. You cant think what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it. Let me say that again. You cant think what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it

But what does this all mean.

Well for example. If I told you not to think of a blue tree, then what do you automatically think about?

So where am I getting in all of this and how does this relate to dating, success or life in general.

Well here is the thing that I uncovered.

In those areas of our life that we are not happy with or that could use some improvement. In our striving for success in that area of our life. We may THINK that we NEED certain things to make us happy, or allow us to be successful in that area.

We may THINK that we actually do know it all and the only reason why we have not achieved something is because there is something holding us back.

But what if I said to you ... that the very thing that could be holding you back. Is something that you are unaware of at the moment.

A lot of guys THINK that certain things with girls should work. Like being really nice, buying her flowers and giving her all this attention.

But here is the thing. in many ways they don’t even KNOW that this is something that does not work. Because at the moment this is the only thing that is possible for them in that point in time.

I hope I'm making sense here, because this is a rather deep and heavy topic.

What I’m trying to say, how can we really search for the right answers when we don't even know how to ask the right questions?

I don't know maybe I have been doing too much studying for phenomenology and its all gotten to my head.

But let me just entertain you with this idea. Is it possible, that the very answers you are looking for in life are already in front of you? N really all you have to do is look up and around and finally see it all.

Isn’t that what an epiphany is all about?

Realizing something that was in front of you the WHOLE time. And then when you look back and reflect on it ... you just think to yourself. How come I never realized that before.

This I believe is one of the keys to success in life and in relationships. Basically acknowledging and being humble that there are a lot of answers out there in the world for you. N that its time you wake up and start seeing them.

Its about opening your mind and not assuming that you know it all. Its about really seeing the possibilities out there and recognizing that absolutely anything and everything is achievable, its just your job to find out how.

So that’s what I’m going to leave with you guys today. What are some of the wake up calls that you have had? Some of the most important lessons that you have learnt? Do you agree that the very key that you are looking for, maybe nothing like you imagined it to be?

Let me know your thoughts

Hot Alpha Female

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The Ultimate Cube Spoiler!

For those of that are reading this post for the first time. Then read "I Just Got Cubed, Now It's Your Turn". Because otherwise this is seriously going to be a bit of a spoiler!

So for those of you that have already had a look at my first post. Then here are the results. N sorry that I kept some of you waiting!!

Landscape
The landscape represents how you see your world. Are there mountains in the distance that are blocking your view. Is it lush and green? How do you feel within this landscape. Is it welcoming?

Cube
The cube actually represents yourself =) So remember to note the relation of the cube to the landscape. Is it big or small? The position of the cube is also important. Floating cubes actually represent ideas people, who can be a little lofty. Solid cubes signify stability. The color is also important as well. But more importantly its how you feel about that color. When you look at that cube, do you feel peaceful or happy. Some of the cubes that I have come across, are big sandstone cubes. Floating cubes on a point. Cubes which are hollow with doors at the top.

Ladder
So the ladder represents your friends and your social network. The material that the ladder is made of is also important. Wooden ladders are usually representative of something more traditional old and stable. So friends that maybe you grew up with and that are very dependable on. With that said a lot of the people that I talked to they had metal or steel ladders. This usually represents the depth to the relationship. More newer substances such as aluminum represents more shallow friends. More tougher materials like titanium, wood, concrete obviously represent deeper relationships.

It should also be noted how the ladder is standing. Is it leaning up against the cube? Is it standing on its own. Obviously if it is standing up on his own then it means that your friends are more self reliant and are close to you but do not depend on you.

Horse
This represents your lover/partner. So you should take note of the size of the horse and where it is in relation to the cube. Its all about your perspective so you have to determine if you Feel the horse is closer to the cube or further away. A horse that is far away form the cube means that you partner is probably not as significant in your life. The type of horse that it is also matters. Some people have imagined toy horses, magical horses, or stallions. If the horse is wearing a saddle it means that there is a level of control of you on the horse and so on.

Storm
The storm represents the challenges in your life and how you deal with obstacles. Did you have a light shower or a threatening tornado? Did you feel that the storm was coming towards you or that it was moving away. More important how did you feel about the storm. was it something that was bothering you at all. Were you scared by it. Or where you comforted by it. This will give you a little bit of an understanding of how you deal with challenges and what not.

Flowers
The flowers are your children or people that you helped to nurture. So not how many of them they are. The closeness of the flowers to the cube and the horse will signify how close they are to you and your partner. Are they are dominant feature in your landscape or something that is more off to the side. This will reveal what important your children will have in your life.

So that was a very general interpretation. When this was used on me, I found it to be soooo much fun and it always gets people talking!!

Neways so if you guys want a deeper interpretation, just tell me what you got and I can prolly help you, plus it would be really cool to see what you got =)

N because I promised in my last post .... I'm gonna spill on my own results!!!

HAF's CUBE RESULTS

So my landscape was one of those salt white deserts. It was beautiful, expositive and limitless. You look in any direction and it was all the same.

My cube was small! (I was so annoyed about this!) haha. It was actually a rubix cube and it wasn't solved. While it was small, it was like a glowing cube with light shining out of it. Kind like a bit matrix style.

My ladder was a wooden ladder. It was only 2 - 3 meters long and it was leaning at a 45 degree angle against absolutely nothing. It was slanted over the cube. But the ladder nor the cube were reliant on each other. To me that means that the friends that I have a fairly independent. They can stand on their own two feet, yet they are close to me. I have somewhat deep relationships with the people around me.

Ok my horse was freaken beautiful. It was a black stallion. Prestigious, pure breed. it was grazing on grass that wasn’t really there. Standing close to the cube and the ladder. Completely free but wanting to stay close. It was just happy doing its own thing and had a claming, strong and protective presence.

It was a little cloudy everywhere. But there was a tornado above me. Even though there was a tornado, it was a weird still calm. The horse, the ladder and the cube where not affected by the storm at all. In fact it had a protective presence in the landscape.

It was really weird. But when I imagined flowers, my entire landscape changed. I imagined a field of red and yellow tulips that engulfed the entire landscape. I was now in a tulip field the storm disappeared, the sun came out and birds starting chirping. lol. Part of imagining a field like that can point to wanting to be a leader in the future, having followers or what not. Hey I'm cool with that =)

So there you go. That’s the cube game explained. So girl’s if a guy uses this on you, do your best not to completely fall in love with him, and think that he is like the most original dude ever. Guy’s if you haven’t seen this before, then I would definitely recommend using it. It works a bloody treat and like I said before, girls absolutely LOVE this stuff. I know I sure did =)

Hot Alpha Female

P.s The next post that will be coming out in the next couple of days before I head over to AMERICA *squeals* will be on " What you don't know, that you don't know" - You guys are going to love it and I'm going to be addressing one of the very things that holds us back when it comes to relationships, success and life in general.

Stay tuned ok?

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I Just Got Cubed! - Now Its Your Turn

"I want you to play a little game with me. N by the end of it I'm going to know more about you than you know about yourself" said a guy who shall remain nameless.

I thought to myself. Hmmmm he’s using something on me here. But hey I’ll take the bait. What harm could it do right?

After he finished the game with me, not only did I feel he knew more about me, the rapport I had built with him was great and the social energy of our entire group was lifted.

I guess your wondering what I'm talking about huh? I guess your wondering how a guy I had already classed as a friend was able to make himself stand outside of the crowd. N I guess you wondering what it is, that makes me think of him every time I talk about this game.

Well some of you may have figured it out already. But for those of you that haven't caught then I’m referring to "The Cube" game. Neil Strauss mentions it in his book the game. Some PUAs use it to break the ice and get a little more playful information about the girl that are talking to.

Since I'm a chick. All I can tell you. Is from a chicks perspective. N what did I have to think about this game? It works. It freaken works. N the best thing is, that the more you know the girl then the more you can interpret the cube differently. The more material you have to bag her out with. The more you WILL know about her.

When this game was being used on me. I just found it really fun and did not want it to stop. Guys just for your information. These little fun games. They Work and we LOVE them!!!

With that said.

I want you guys to play a game with me

N by the end of it I'm going to know more about you than you know about yourself.

Ready for it?

Just a couple of things before we start. Make sure you

Have about 5 minutes to complete this

Keep a clear mental picture of what you visualise and make it as descriptive and detailed as possible

Use the first things that come to your mind.

There is no right or wrong answer.

Ok so now lets get started!!!

Landscape
So first in your mind's eye imagine a desert landscape of some sort. What does it look like. How big is it? What materials is it made up of? What does the horizon look like. What time of day is it?

Cube
Next you have to imagine a cube. How big is it. What colour is it? what is it made up of. How is it positioned within the landscape. is it sitting flat on the sand. Is it floating. How do you feel about this cube?
Think of at least 5 adjectives that you can use to describe the cube before you move on.

Ladder
Next you should imagine a ladder. Where is it in relation to the cube. what is it made up of? How long is it? Is it big or is it small. Is it resting on anything? Or is it standing on its own. Is it a solid ladder? Does it interchange or slide up or down.


Horse
Now after the ladder, you have to imagine a horse. What kind of horse is it? what colour? What is it? what is it doing? Is it wearing a saddle or bridle? Where is the horse in relation to the cube? Is it far or near? What is the horse in relationship to the landscape?

Storm
Now somewhere in the dessert is a storm. What kind of storm is this? Where do you see it? Is it threatening or passing? Does it affect the cube, the ladder and the horse? If so how?

Flowers
And finally in this desert there are flowers. Where are the flowers in relation to the cube, the ladder and the horse, the storm? Are there many or are there few? what colour are they? What kind are they?

So now you guys should all have a vivid picture in your mind. What did you see? You will find that everyone's landscape will be uniquely different!

Meanings and interpretation will be coming out on Friday =)

Hot Alpha Female

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Installing Love - Exactly How To Do It

So I'm coming out with another post in the next couple of days. You guys are going to love it and its going to be lots of fun =) But here is an email that was sent to me. N i thought that it was sooo cute and there is a lot of meaning behind some of the jargon.

Hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did =)

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are Running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer Disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from Being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't Know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased. I loved this!

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, 'Error - Program not run on external components.' What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before We hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share! it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

So guys don't you think that its so true? In finding love we really need to get out of our own way. All we need to do if get rid of all those limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves and relationships so that we are open to something that was always there. Its not that we have to find love. Its already there waiting for us. Our job is to find all the things inside ourselves that is stopping us from having it.

I made a little mind love movie a while ago. The one thing that i wanted to achieve through this was to reprogram your own beliefs so you can have a look at it again here

Let me know your thoughts =)

Hot Alpha Female

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Knowing The Game - Yet Still Getting Gamed

Now I'm not saying that I have seen and heard everything in regards to picking up. Far from it. N that’s something I would like to keep that way. However when it comes to dating and attraction there are a couple more things that I know than your average kind of gal.

N you know this can be a little intimidating to guys who are just getting into the whole pick up thing or really are not that confident in girls just yet. It's easy for me to shoot through their game with a couple of phrases without even trying.

Some guys get a little taken aback when they realize that the same material they have been learning is just as familiar to me. Some guys lose their game right then and there. But some have the balls to go on.

N I'm sure that its just not me. I’m sure girls that are getting hit on constantly also have the same experience. They heard a lot of the pick up lines and many of them have also been the target of guys who are just getting into the game and don't really know what they are doing.

As a side note, that’s why once you get into working the whole PUA thing that you really develop your own style. Something that screams YOU and that no one really else has. It totally kills your competition and prevents the objection of " You got that from that BOOK?! DIDNT YOU?!" or "Yeh I've heard that one before *bored sympathetic look*".

Ok getting back on subject. While I make the point that knowing the game cancels a lot of guys out .. It doesn't mean that it won't work.

I would even go as far to say, that if you really know what you are doing and have the right execution that even if you KNOW this guy is gaming you, it still bloody works!

Even though YOU KNOW he learnt his skill in a book and is now using it on you ... at the end of the day, you still end up giggling like a little school girl going a little crazy .. and god forbid actually having fun and enjoying the courting process.

Knowing the game .. does not mean that you cannot get gamed. Just thought I would say that one again just so you go the point.

N you know what guys and girls? That’s bloody good news for everybody. Because here is the thing. Guys usually get a little disheartened when a girl knows what game he is playing and either have to step up or piss off. N girls who know the game, think that by knowing it .. it actually screws up her chances with a lot of guys coz she can see right through it.

Well like I said good news for both parties. Coz guys can realize that they still have a good chance with girls that know the game, heck they can prolly use that to their advantage. N girls ... you can find comfort in knowing that even though you understand the game .. that you can still fall for a guy who learnt all his news skills from a book and his experience.

I mean that’s kind of cool right? It kind of opens so many new doors for you. For everyone. N I'm all for everyone winning =)

With that said I do want to add a couple of points.

The first is ... girls that know the game, will test more. Here is one thing that I have personally noticed. If I know or have figured out that a guy knows his game well, that he is experienced, knows what he is doing then I will actually test him a lot more and a lot harder than a guy who I have figured to be less experienced.

When I test. I really test. N I don't think that its really a conscious thing. It's just more a natural reaction that I really can't help at all. Its also like, when you know someone is good at their game then you need to step up yours too. Push them to the point to see if they will fold or break.

N when they stand their ground and can keep you under control. That’s when you start to get interested. That’s when you start to think ... hang on there is something that is different about this guy and I LIKE IT! He's not like all the other guys that would be stammering or completely lost for words.

So what my conclusion? Well its this. That knowing the game as a girl has its advantages and its disadvantages. N so talking to a girl who knows the game can have its own ones too.

The most important thing to remember is that if you stick to your ground and don't let this bother you ... you can sail on through all the shite tests =) In fact you can use this new found information to pay her out about it all night. Its just more material for you to use against her. Gotta love it right? N this article is proof that girls still fall for it every single time.

With that said, its now your turn. Girls have you been gamed before? How did it work out? Did you fall for it or see right through it? Do you think its an advantage or disadvantage knowing how it all works? Do you find guy s are intimidated knowing how much you know?

Guys. What have been your experiences with gaming. Have you been caught out at all? How do you deal with it? How do you handle girls that know the game? Do you prefer girls that know or don't know about it.

Let me know your thoughts guy ... I wanna hear what you have to say!

Hot Alpha Female

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Talk is cheap and so are YOU!

Ok so I have to admit that this post was inspired by Advice From A Single dating Chick. She has a short and sweet rant and I'm following it up here.

So what exactly do I mean when I say talk is cheap and so are you. Well really what I’m referring to here is about credibility. N that you cannot create it .. when all you do is TALK!

Now this is an important issue. Because in the dating scene you are going to have to come across as credible.

If you don't come across as credible ... then she ain't going to talk to you let alone go on a date with you.

So lets see. what is credibility and how do we mistakenly kill it?

I guess to me credibility is something like validation. Along with creditability comes social value.

What is social value? Well heres the scenario. Which one do you think has more social value. Richard Branson or Brad Pitt.

Lol weird examples I know. So here is the thing. Their social value depends on the situation. In many ways social value is based on a comparative scale.

See Richard Branson would have much more social value at a world wide business convention. whilst Brad Pitt not so much.

However at the Oscars, Brad Pitt would have much higher social value over Richard Branson.

See what I’m getting at.

But what I’m talking about .. is being able to milk your social value as much as possible within your own limits. N with that comes credibility. The more credibility you have the higher in social value you go. Got the point?

Ok so here is the thing.

How does one kill that credibility? Ok. Number one thing that annoys me.

Is when someone says that they are going to do something and they don’t follow through on that.

Like seriously. Here are a couple of examples.

If you are speaking to someone and they say .. "I’m gonna head off now" say you are talking to them in person or chatting to them on msn. When you are going to say that you are going .. then bloody GO!!!

Don’t have a 10 minute conversation with me afterwards. Don't start instigating new things to talk about. Just GO!

You know why? Because if you don't go. Then I’m going to start thinking that you are only saying that, because you wanna play hard to get. Or because you always want to be in control of the situation.

N you know what is worse? when you say that you are going .. and then I end up leaving before you do. Because then you just look like a bit of an idiot and your credibility metre goes down the drain. In a language guys understand you just lost about 10 points.

Not only does this apply in the dating world but also in the normal real life. when you are just engaging with people on a regular basis. I’m sure that we have all heard the saying that "talk is cheap" ... well that statement was made up by the people who were sick and tired of hearing empty promises.

You know I may be young. But considering that .. I've learnt my fair share of lessons already. I've learnt that talk REALLY IS cheap. From first hand experience. In fact talk is so cheap, that usually a person who just does all the talking has no respect from his fellow members.

But you wanna know what is powerful? What really moves people? What really impresses them?

Action and Results.

Because you know what? When you achieve that, then all of a sudden you have the creditability and the respect. You don't go around telling people about what you can you. You are already that which you would normally preach. People come to you because they have seen the results.

Heres the thing. Which ones do you believe is more powerful. A person who talks about being wealthy and happy and preaches this to you.

Or someone who IS wealthy and very happy. N has the bank statement and social network and lifestyle to prove it.

Now lets not get confused here. Because hey I know we all have to start somewhere right?

But what I’m saying is. If you have big dreams and goals or something that you want to achieve. Yes you can tell some people about it. But the person that really needs to believe it the most is YOU. YOU are really the person that needs the most convincing.


You can tell when someone is committed to something or not. But some people talk about this great game. But all it is .. is TALK! its more like by talking to you they are trying to get YOU to convince THEM its possible.

Everything starts from within.

If you want the world around you to change then you have to change the inner world first.

Ok ok .. so maybe a little off track there. But none the less I think its really important. N so I’m saying that if you want to be credible then you got to believe and ACT on that credibility. Its just one of those things you cannot FAKE.

credibility is the ability to back yourself up and to have others validate your position and results. N to be credible with other people, you must first crate that credibility within yourself.

With that said, I'm throwing the ball to you guys. What are some of the ways that help you built credibility? what are some things that you have done that have totally shot your creditability down. DO you think that credibility is important at all?

Let me know your thoughts - because I’m listening.

Hot Alpha Female

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Do Guys Really Like Plus Size Chicks?

Holly in Sydney from Big Gal Models

Ok so for those of you that didn't know. I'm Aussie. I live in Australia and have lived here all my life. In fact I am a Chinese/Indonesian, born in Australia with a dutch last name, who can only speak English.

Don't worry I'm confused too.

Now that I have given you my complete background heritage. I'll get back to the point.

The whole reason why i brought up the whole Aussie thing, is because apparently Sydney Morning Herald says that guys like plus size chicks.

What do I mean by this? Well go on .. you can read the article here

But in essence it says that men's version of chicks being thin .. is actually not as high as girl's version of being thin. That girls are too hard on themselves.

Nothing that i haven't heard before. Girls being hard on themselves about their looks. Beauty is something that i prefer not to compare myself to others against. Because hey .. that's pretty much a battle that your are bound to lose. Not matter how good looking you think that you are ... your self esteem fluctuates because you are forever comparing yourself with others. Sooner or later there is bound to be a chick who has better hair than you. Is skinner than you. Has a better personality. lol

I really see beauty and someone being "hot or not" as something a little more subjective. To me "Beauty is REALLY in the eye of the beholder". Of course there will be some people out there like Jessica Alba .. who EVERYONE pretty much thinks that she is gorgeous. And of course there are certain physical features of an ideal look.

But here is the thing. Everyone has their own taste. Some people prefer blondes over brunettes. Asians over Aussies. Short people over taller people. Some guys like boobs. Some guys like butts. Some just like both of them.Each to their own.

What can you do about it? Well if you have a great ass .. then date guys who will appreciate you for it *winks*

You get my point. You can't please everybody. So spend your time on the ones that appreciate you.

So what is my conclusion? There is nothing more attractive than someone that is comfortable in their own skin. Some of you may have let out a big sigh and said " Well that's nothing that i haven't heard before".

But let me explain. The body you are given. Well its yours. N the only way you are going to win the body battle is to do the best you can with what you have. So what does that mean?

It bloody means that you should take care of yourself. Work Out. Eat Well. Dress Well. Carry yourself well. These are all self improvements that you can control.

You can't control if someone thinks you are hot or not. You can't make everyone like you. And if you think that you can ... then you really need to go see Dr Phil.

The only thing that you should be focusing on is how you can be the best person that you can be. How you can make the best out of what you have got.

You know this is really good news for the guys too. Because here is the thing. Looks aren't as important to us as you think that they are.

I've heard this saying recently and i think that it is totally totally true.

Guys will date a girl because he thinks that she is beautiful or good looking. Girls will date a guy because he MAKES her feel beautiful or good looking.

If you actually read that .. its more profound than it sounds. N you know what. Its pretty much true. Now I'm not saying, that you have to be all wussy and stuff. But you can communicate attraction through body language and word play .. rather than just by saying "your beautiful".

PUA's you know what i mean ...

So there you have it guys. In Sydney. Fat is IN! LoL But i think how you can always be IN is to learn to become ultra comfortable in your own skin.

Let me know what you guys think. How important are looks? Do you like certain physical traits over others. Do you think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Or is that just what not so good looking people say?

Hot Alpha Female

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